Messieurs Rudolph, Scruffy, Rabies, and Shrimp
by radishesandspectraspects
Summary: The Marauders adventures on the night of the full moon. What more can I say?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**The four Marauders were up in the Gryffindor Common Room talking about homework**...wait, no they weren't!

**Hermione: Well I think they should be.**

Me: Whose story is this Hermione?

**Hermione: Mine.**

Me: Go away.

Hermione vanishes.

Me: Good.

The four Marauders were in the Gryffindor Common Room talking about Remus' current situation. For any of you who don't know, that would be him being a werewolf.

"So, what are we going to do about your 'furry' situation?" James asked.

Remus scowled at him, "What do you mean?"

James played with the snitch he stole from last Quidditch practice.

"What I mean," he said slowly, "Is that it is going to interfere with our night raids on Filch's office."

"You could just NOT raid his office." said Remus.

Sirius looked at Remus in surprise, "But that would spoil all the fun Remee ol' pal."

"We could get Remus to bite all of us, so we can suffer together." suggested Wormtail.

"Are you crazy?! That'll interfere with my social life!" cried James.

"Why don't we all become..." Sirius peeks over at Remus' book, "Animangus!"

"Yeah constellation-face, if you want us all to become kitty cats like Professor Mickie." said James sarcastically.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea." said Remus.

"Ha ha, what?" said James nervously.

Remus scanned the text, "Doesn't sound too hard."

"What?" said James.

Remus smiled.

"C'mon guys! Time to go to the Restricted Section!"

"Now if you take too many books Professor Snape's grandma will come and whip you with her licorice whips." said Remus.

"Like in Candy Land!" said Sirius.

James gave him a weird look, "Seriously?"

"Well, what other name do I have."

"Um, Padfoot duh."

"Oh yeah."

"Found it!" said Wormtail.

Sirius grabbed the book out of his hands.

"Found it!" said Sirius.

"Good job Sirius!" said James.

Wormtail scowled.

Remus flipped through the pages. "Looks easy enough, let's just go back to the Common Room before we try it."

"Okay!" said the others.

An hour later they had all perfected the spell and laughed at each others animal, being as immature as they are.

"James is Rudolph!" laughed Sirius.

"Hey! No I'm not!" said James.

"Yay! Now we can all squash Wormtail!" said Sirius.

"Hey!" squeaked Wormtail.

"Hmm, oddly enough, our animal forms resemble our nick-names." said James.

"Err, guys? I think we were supposed to give each other nick-names at this part in the story, but someone must have messed with time and told our past selves to call each other them." said Remus.

"Found a time-turner!" said Sirius.

"Sirius don't!" cried Remus.

Sirius came back a minute later.

"That was fun!" he said happily.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Now we can all go on our nightly adventures with no problem whatsoever!" said James.

"Hooray!" cried the rest of the Marauders.

"Just as long as Remus doesn't go on an emotional rampage, we should be a-okay!" said Sirius.

Everyone looked at Remus.

"Don't eat me." squeaked Wormtail.

Remus sighed, "I won't eat you."

"I'll eat you!" said Sirius.

Wormtail shrieked and scurried under a couch.

Sirius looked up.

"This is gonna be fun!"


	2. Ickle Remee's Got A Fan-Girl

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

It was the night of the full moon and the remaining three Marauders were following Remus and the teacher out into the courtyard, hidden under Jame's invisibility cloak.

"Ouch! Cut it out Sirius!" hissed Jame's as Sirius stepped on the heel of his shoe again.

Sirius snickered, and did it again.

Jame's kicked him.

Wormtail was making these weird little squeaking noises and clicking his teeth together.

"Er, Wormy? What the hell are you doing?" asked Sirius.

"I'm practising being a mouse!" Wormtail replied confidently. Unfortunately, he spoke too loud and the teacher escorting Remus whipped around.

"Who goes there?!" she said.

"Your face!" replied Sirius, and James quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.

Remus twitched and started frothing at the mouth, so the teacher decided to pick up the pace and get him to the Whomping Willow.

"Sirius! Could you act like your name for at least one second?!" hissed James.

Sirius shrugged and started humming spy music.

They waited outside as the teacher and Remus disappeared into the Whomping Willow, and as the teacher returned a minute later. When she had re-entered the castle, James made a bird sound with his mouth and the three companions quickly transformed into their animal forms.

Remus returned in his werewolf form. After looking around for a bit, he finally spotted his friends over by the Forbidden Forest.

"Hiya Remy!" called Sirius.

Remus grinned. "Who's ready to have some fun?"

Ten minutes later, the four Marauders had probably played every game known to man. They had even tried (and failed) to play Quidditch while in animal form.

They were in the midst of seeing who was brave enough to lick the Whomping Willow when suddenly, the entrance doors opened and a young Hufflepuff girl strolled out of the castle.

When she caught sight of Remus, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Sirius and James looked at each other. The girl looked like she was about to scream.

And she did, like a fan-girl.

"Oh my gosh! It's Jacob from Twilight!" she squealed.

Then she turned quick on her heals and disappeared into the castle. The last words that they could catch were, "I have to go tell Alice, and Sally, and Rachel, and..." before she had walked too far away and was inaudible.

Sirius and James were shaking from laughter.

"I'm crying, I'm crying!", yelled a near-hysterical Sirius.

"Looks like Ickle Remee has a fan-girl." said James.

"If I were human I'd be wetting myself already!", Sirius laughed.

"If you guys were human I'd have turned you all into werewolves already, see how you'd like it!" snarled Remus.

"Then we'd all be a pack of little Jacobs." replied James. "We could prance and jump around in fields of tulips, just like all other little Jacobs do."

And Sirius wet himself.


End file.
